Even the best in the business can suffer from depression, one can feel lonely despite being part of a “big group”, there are times when finding a way out looks impossible. This isn’t some rhetoric but mere facts – Yes, depression is real and even India captain Virat Kohli has battled it during India’s 2014 tour of England.
In a conversation with Mark Nicholas on his podcast, Virat Kohli has admitted once again that he underwent depression during the disastrous tour wherein he scored just 134 runs at an average of 13.40 in 10 innings. The 32-year-old, who has as many as 70 international hundreds till date, said that during the phase there was nothing he could do to overturn things. He felt like the “loneliest person” on the planet.
“Yes, I did,” was his response when asked whether he had suffered from depression at the time.
“It’s not a great feeling to wake up knowing that you won’t be able to score runs and I think all batsmen have felt that at some stage that you are not in control of anything at all,” he recalled.
“You just don’t understand how to get over it. That was a phase when I literally couldn’t do anything to overturn things…I felt like I was the loneliest guy in the world,” he said of the England tour.
“Personally, for me that was a revelation that you could feel that lonely even though you a part of a big group. I won’t say I didn’t have people who I could speak to but not having a professional to speak to who could understand what I am going through completely, I think is a huge factor,” Virat kohli said.
Notably, Kohli registered scores of 1, 8, 25, 0, 39, 28, 0,7, 6 and 20 as James Anderson got his prized wickets on 4 occasions. The master batsman looked out of place in the seaming English conditions.
“I felt like as a batsman, you know you are going to get out in the morning as soon as you wake up. That was the time I felt like that there is no chance I am getting runs. And still to get out of bed and just get dressed for the game and to go out there and go through that, knowing that you will fail, was something that ate me up,” Kohli had told Kevin Pietersen in the past.
“I think I would like to see it change”
During his conversation with Nicholas, Kohli went on to add that people should change their stance towards depression and take help of professionals who can completely understand one’s thought process and help them come out of it.
“Someone whom you can go to at any stage, have a conversation around and say ‘Listen this is what I am feeling, I am finding it hard to even go to sleep, I feel like I don’t want to wake up in the morning. I have no confidence in myself, what do I do?’
“Lot of people suffer with that feeling for longer periods of time, it carries on for months, it carries on for a whole cricket season, people are not able to get out of it,” Kohli said.